ALBUM: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Johnball

Posted by on Aug 13, 2013 in Featured Posts, Photos

Unalienable rights with which all human beings are endowed

I suppose I’m a bit biased, but I believe that Johnball may be the most photogenic sport mankind has ever known. (Though Combat Juggling comes awful close at times.)

Starring Timm Uhlmann as "purpleshirted Johnballman" and Zach Raden as "blackshirted Johnballman."

A bold strategy.


Atticus Finch

Like a picture out of a magical fantasy land.



New invented recreational sports. outdoor extreme hockey dodgeball. What is John Ball?

A scene from that same day.


Starring Tori Hong, Thomas Kunkel, Chris Borgen, Evan Jungbauer, Jake Panzer, William Bird, Alex Burniece, Ryan Muenchow, Robby Prescott, and Andrew Wolpers.

On a scale from 1 to 10, this is a really nice picture.


Critics are already raving- “An ingenious combination of Hong Kong action and ground-breaking Hollywood FX, ‘Johnball: The Movie’ is an apocalypse of kinetic joy.”


Recent Bigfoot sighting! At Collegeville, MN - SJU. Sasquatch is one creepin' lover of all thigns Johnball.

An extraordinary sighting on the Johnball field.


Starring Jack McGinn and brewmaster JT Dalton at Matthews Park and Rec Center in the Seward Neighborhood, Minneapolis. Playing crazycool megaawesome Johnball.

It’s a difficult task to be cool without ever playing Johnball. Many have tried; only precious few have succeeded.


Bryan Atchinson of local Minnesota band KOO KOO KANGA ROO introduced the sport of Johnball to young children at multiple YMCA's, including Southdale Edina, MN. Fun indoor gym team games for kids, gym class, summer camps, afterschool care.

The illustrious Mr. Bryan Atchison had the following to report:
“The Southdale YMCA [in Edina, MN] played Johnball last night! It was a huge hit. We played free-for-all, VIP, and Zombies. THANK YOU!”
Thank you, Bryan, for giving these kids the greatest gift they could ever receive.

Bryan Atchinson, lead singer leadman of Koo Koo Kanga Roo, sharing the love of Johnball with da world.

Bryan Atchinson (try to guess which one is him) is an employee of the YMCA and brings Johnball to every camp he attends.
“We played Johnball in Jacksonville, IL at the YMCA’s Central Leaders School.
We got our sweat on,” said Bryan.


Look at dem kids! Brendon Jones, Zachary Bice, John Hilsen, Adam Nelson, Eric Franzen, Kelsey Zimmer, Sam Bultsma, Benjamin Saxton, Alex Burniece. All in Lakeville, MN. Go Cougars. Or Panthers. I don't care, really.

Johnball: Bringing out your repressed ninja spirit since 2005.


UND Grand Forks. University of North Dakota. Student life, recreation, clubs & activities. Walmart balls in all seasonz.

“Where there is Johnball, there is life.”
-Mahatma Gandhi


Lovely ladies play Johnball. What is Johnball? Ask Amelia English. But don't get any funny ideas, Ralph-- she's dating Johnwarrior Justin Meredith. Under the Tree of Life at Matthews Park and Recreation Center.

Minneapolis: where everyone who plays Johnball is someone you could bring home to meet mother.


Graphic Art design by Robby Prescott, AKA TETRA LOTUS. John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson, and Quentin Tarantino would be oh so proud.

Q: What do you get when you cross Pulp Fiction with Daft Punk with Johnball?
A: Something beautiful, that’s what.


Starring Carbondale Illinois College Kidz. Featuring Carson Magnus Mack and large rubber walmart balls and yellow wiffle ball bats. Like extreme dodgeball.

A scene of utter joy and splendor. Cue “Mr. Blue Sky” by Electric Light Orchestra.


Curtis Parker in an adult hotdog costume, going downhill mighty fast. Joined by Andrew Wolpers and Sherbetty band man, Luke Stangohr. In Minneapolis.

Hawt dawg!


Wasn't Johnball Nationals way neato? Here's ALex Fashing of UND Grand Forks playing Johnball and hitting a large playball right at ya.

And the cameraman’s life flashed before his eyes.


William Gilman gets on his knees and explains a new game to youngsters from the neighborhood.

In Minneapolis, William takes some time to explain Johnball to a group of kids who had never before heard of the sport. These younglings were in the park watching the game when William approached them and invited them to join in.


What is Johnball? Johnball is friendship. It's a game you need to play. Now. Seriously. You need it. It needs YOU.

“Let them come. They shall never breach our defenses!” proclaimed a horde of North Dakotan Johnballers well-versed in the art of war and Johnball.


JoVanna Jensen versus Andrew Christensen playing the sport, game of Johnball for outdoorfun.

LifeLesson™, brought to you by Johnball:
Courage and smiling will help you overcome any adversity


Ryan Muenchow alongside Drew Christensen, Joy Anne Dordal, and Belinda Burniece at Parents Night Johnball in Lakeville, Minnesota, Scott County.

These days, you’re much more likely to catch sight of a wizard playing Johnball than Quidditch. After all, there are a lot of silly rules in Quidditch.


Andrew Petz and kooky komrades equip themselves with big plastic wiffle ball bats and large rubber play balls from WalMart, Target. Time for a game of Johnball, they scream.

Ducking mightily in a way that even the Mighty Ducks would admire.
P.S. We’d like to send a high-five and hearty congrats to Andrew Petz and all his Johnballin’ comrades who just recently started playing the game in Arcadia, WI.


Conner Garrett and MC Frank / Michael Charles Frank at UWEC on Towers Field. Having a gentlemenly duel on the Johnball pitch. What is Johnball? It is love.

This one’s for the ladies.


Written by CHRISTOPHER VONDRACEK. Photo by ANNA REED. New invented American team sports uprising.

A picture from a very nice article written by the Twin Cities going-out guide. You can read the article here, if you know how to read.


Clockwork Front End Development Manager Kevin O'Brien knows how to kick sweet, sweet butt.

There are many people who have done great deeds for Johnball. One of them is the dexterous Kevin O’Brien, a web-design warlock who has donated his time and talents to this website many, many times over. Without him, the site would look just like the 1996 Space Jam website. Or it probably wouldn’t even exist at all.
Thanks so much, Kevin!


Peter Jackson had Martin Freeman and Andy Serkis trained hardcore for months playing Johnball prior to shooting.The Hobbit is all about courageous fighting AKA Johnball. JRR Tolkien was one of the first ever earthlings to Johnball (during World War I). 2012, 2013, 2014, 1989 comic, 1966 cartoon.

 [Bilbo:] “Look, uh, I don’t know what your game is, but I–”

[Gollum:] “Games? We love games, doesn’t we, Precious? Does it like games? Does it? Does it? Does it like to play?”

[Bilbo:] “Maybe?”

[Gollum:] “No! Finish him off. Finish him now. Gollum! Gollum!”

[Bilbo:] “No! No, no. I want to play. I do. I want to play. I can see you are very good at this. S—so why don’t we have a game of Johnball? Yes, just, just you and me.”


About the Author: John Hilsen created Johnball alongside close friend William Bird in 2005. He currently calls Lakeville, MN his home and- during his spare time- writes novels under the pseudonym of “R.L. Stine.”



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